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23 August 2006 @ 01:55 pm
I'm anti-not-sneezing! Down with not-sneezing!  
The woman in the cube behind me has been not-sneezing all day. I don't mean that she has been sneeze-free. No. She's obviously got some sort of allergy-cold-thing happening, which is causing her to sneeze, but she keeps stopping the sneeze. All day, it's hhhheh, hhheh, then a muffled tmmmmwp.

I couldn't help myself. I had to say something. These are the highlights:

SNEEZE, WOMAN! JUST SNEEZE! Why don't you just let it out? Why don't you just sneeze?! You know, the air in a sneeze comes out of your nose at 100-200 miles per hour. And you hold it in! You're going to give yourself nasal whiplash slamming on the sneeze-brakes like that! You're such a repressed sneezer. Just sneeze! It'll feel good. Your body wants you to sneeze. It's a natural reflex. There's nothing dirty or shameful about it. Why must you be so repressed? You're like the Mussolini of sneezes. Fascist sneeze dictator! Let the sneezes run freely, like wild horses on the plains of your face! In Hungary and Slovenia, a sneeze that occurs after making a statement is sometimes a sign FROM GOD that the statement was true. YOU'RE DENYING THE WILL OF GOD by not letting yourself sneeze. SNEEZE, WOMAN! SNEEZE!
Slut Bumwallahstaringgoldfish on August 23rd, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
She could bruise her sinuses and screw up her ears something fierce sneeze stifling that way.
Dana: we are not amusedperoxidestings on August 23rd, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
I just told her that. She said she can hear BETTER because it makes her ears pop.

...I fear this may be a lost cause.